SAHM to Working Mom

I have been a stay-at-home mommy most of my mommy life, but I have also tried working. It's nice to be a SAHM, but it has some down sides. Being a working mom has its ups and downs as well. Let me tell you all about my experiences with both...

A few months after I learned I was pregnant with my first child, I resign from my job. It was my first job and I was just there for three months. My hubby and I weren't married yet. We were not even living together yet. I lived with my mom and honestly I wasn't mature enough to think of the future.

Just before my son turned 2, I decided to try out being an Assistant Teacher for a good preschool in Alabang. My friend was working there and told me they were looking for someone to fill the position. I wasn't doing anything and my mom offered to take care of my baby during the day. So might as well give it a try, rather than doing nothing at home. I enjoyed it but pay was too low. Minimum wage and the school was in a mall. So I'm spending more than I'm earning. Haha! I had to quit coz of family problems (death in family, depression, yaya gone, etc) It wasn't worth it anyway because of the low pay.

So, I was back to being a SAHM. I just focused on planning our Wedding. I also put up an online shop (I was selling baby sandos and shorts). I wasn't bored because I was filling up my day with things to do,plus taking care of a baby requires the bulk of my day, really.

Wedding done. Hubby and I started living together in our own (well, rented) house. My son isn't a baby anymore. I got more time on my hand. Online shop didn't push through. Basically, I was doing NOTHING. I always get jealous of hubby coz he gets to go out sometimes. I sometimes take out my frustrations on him and my son. I was miserable at home. Super depressing not to have your own money and without money, you won't be able to go out with friends. I felt alone. I kept telling my hubby about all my frustrations. He felt for me and told me that the only thing I can do to get out of that rut was to get a job.

So I did. It wasn't easy. We didn't have a yaya to take care of our son. I tried to apply to a lot of companies (non BPO) but they rejected me because I am a mother (yup I was pissed on how judgmental they were).
I really do not want to work in a BPO anymore. Then, things were looking up. My sister-in-law decided to stay with us in our house (she can take care of our son while I'm at work). And a friend told me about this Account Executive job in Seair's Inflight Magazine. I got the job!

It was what I needed.. a job. It was a field position. I get to go around the metro looking for and meeting with clients to advertise in the magazine. I honestly do not know anything about sales, but I like how it challenged me.

I can't deny that I missed my son so much. I was so used to being with him 24/7. But you know what, it's the missing him that makes it so much better when i see him. I cherished every minute we had together. Before, we were always together, but not really 100%. I was always busy with other things. When I worked, my attention was 100% only to my son.

Another good thing was the money. Pay was good. I got to buy my hubby a really nice gift on Christmas. My Christmas gifts to him before that were mostly I owe you's or make him dinner (which ingredients he bought).

Our ref was full. ALWAYS. I pass by the grocery and buy whatever I want. I remember one time, during my non-working days, I would pay our village meatshop coins! Yup, as in piso piso na 100 pesos! I woud also just buy pork or chicken coz beef was expensive.

I wasn't depressed anymore. I got to go out with friends/cousins (not all the time, but if I really wanted to I can). Working was the right decision.

Until, I got pregnant AGAIN!

To be honest my initial reaction wasn't great. I wasn't happy at first. All I thought about was that I'd have to give up my new found happiness...my money and freedom.
But when it sunk in. I was happy.

Eventually I had to quit working. I couldn't carry thick magazines while walking around the metro with a baby bump. My hubby also insisted I quit.

So..back again to being a SAHM.

I wasn't depressed anymore. I was stressed most times though. Two kulit boys are too much to handle without a yaya. I'd have to cook and clean also. Those nights that I am exhausted, I drink a couple of beers by myself. Haha! I hope that doesn't make me an alcoholic. LOL.

I kept busy too. I studied a new language! Spanish!

Now, my bunso is almost 2 years old. I am happy and excited to say that I will be working soon!
My studying paid off. I got accepted in a Spanish queue in a BPO! I actually cannot believe it! It's a too good of a deal to pass. So back to work I go!

I'll be starting in a month. I have this time to find a yaya, review more of my spanish, fix the house and ready my kids.
Wish me luck on this great new opportunity!

Thanks for reading! I hope I didn't bore you guys too much. Haha!

New Kicks

Who's the coolest baby in town?

Finally able to use Ninong Jay and Tita Allane's binyag gift to Lucas! After like a year haha! As soon as I put it on, Lucas insisted on going out of the house!

My new personal Blog.

I have a new personal blog.
http://thecaradiaries.blogspot.com

It would mean a lot to me if you drop by.

Will continue to update this blog about what's happening with my boys, but if you want to get to know ME better, "The Cara Diaries" is for you. :)

Ciao for now!

I need an outlet.

Just finished having a good cry. Why?
Cause I am just tired of everything. (well, WAS. I actually feel a lot better about myself and everything else).

I felt I needed to take a break.

It was 3pm ( a few minutes ago), and Mikel was STILL eating his lunch. We all started eating at around 1pm. My hubby asked me to stay with Mikel because he was going out to play Xbox with  his best friend.  THAT was the last straw that made me breakdown.

He even told me the reason he's going out cause he was too stressed at home (He was quitting smoking. Stress makes him smoke). I normally don't mind. And I truly understand. I just got a bit jealous that he can just go out whenever he wants but I can't. When I'm too stressed, I just cry it out in the bathroom. I want to go out and at least have coffee even just for an hour just to let steam off. I can't because if I go, nobody will take care of our kids.

I am not mad at my hubby or my sons. I love them to bits, and I think I am the luckiest with them. I get sad that I mostly take out my frustrations to my sons and hubby.

I just need an outlet.

My "friends" and I don't talk anymore. And I don't actually have time/resources to go out of the house.

For all of you who don't know, I am a stay-at-home mom, with 2 kids. One 5, and the other 1 and a half. Both are boys. I tried working years back, for about 6 months. It really feels so good to have your own money and I kinda miss it. Hubby actually wants me to work already (In Spanish queue in a call center, cause we both studied Spanish a few months ago). I really want to work too, but I feel I am not ready to speak Spanish yet. I also am having a hard time motivating myself to practice more. In my free time, I'd rather relax and watch a movie or read a nice book.

I guess blogging is a nice outlet. Maybe I should try blogging more. I stopped blogging years ago because I rarely have quiet time to sit and think about what to blog. There's noise in our house 24/7 (maybe almost coz they are quiet when they're sleeping. lol).

I kinda want to tell you my experiences as a stay-at-home and working mom, and their differences. But maybe that's for another post. This is getting too long.

Ciao for now!

Day 3 – Me and My friends

This is my 4th yr HS Barkada. We are called :"Chippypol" coz of our hang out place back in Highschool (Chippy Place). This pic was taken last April 2012. Been a long time since I have been with friends. I miss them so much! But out of all my friends, these people are the ones I see most often.

This is my Highschool barkada. Can't remember wcen this was taken, probably circa 2010. Other than this time (time of the pic), last time I saw them was back in Highschool!

Here are some of my friends from College. (Photo taken June 2010, Mikel's 3rd Birthday, probably the last time I saw most of them). The girl in pic is one of my very bestfriends. She's in Australia now.

Miss my friends so much! Everyone's been too busy. And of course with their new sets of friends too. I'm busy with Wifey/Mommy duties. Planning on hanging out with them more, inviting friends over more.